I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize