ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
