if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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