Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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