Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
