My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
