wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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