yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Congratulations! We have a period
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
