Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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