Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
