Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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