just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
