i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
