Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
