yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
