Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
