My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dick very happy bro
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