Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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