i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
