We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
