i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize