I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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