Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yo dont text me then not text me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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