PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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