I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
