I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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