hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
