His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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