i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
