she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
