Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
