you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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