She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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