party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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