i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
