a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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