he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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