I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
