Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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