My room smells like vodka and shame
Someone shit on the floor
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
