So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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