Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize