Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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