Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
