I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
