This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
