Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
