Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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