I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
