she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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