I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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