Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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