she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize