Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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