I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
