i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
