I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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