I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
