I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
