genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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