Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
