So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
