Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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