what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
