I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
